so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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