Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
