Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
