If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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