are you so shy because you have an std?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
