I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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