The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
