what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
