I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
