You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I seem to have left my pride at pride
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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