We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
