A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
