well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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