I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
