So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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