There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
