The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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