Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
