So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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