Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
