would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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