So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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