Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
you never un-have a 4some
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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