i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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