Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
