Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
