i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
