my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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