Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
