Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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