dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
