He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
