I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
