I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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