you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
