well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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