addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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