im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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