Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
