Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
