I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
