Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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