peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
