So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
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