new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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