I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
