I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
