i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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