And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
