for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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