The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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