2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
